My sweet beloved Granny passed away in the spring of 1998. She was an elderly lady, but we did not expect her to leave us just yet. I guess in my own mind Granny was ever-enduring and it was impossible to think that such a strong lady couldn't just live forever !
I will always remember her twinkling blue eyes, her soft smooth face and most of all her glorious smile. Although that smile was there for everyone, it always felt as if she smiled just for you and I suppose that, in a way, she did have a special smile reserved for each of her loved ones.
She was a very quiet lady, my Granny; a quiet that bespoke of her shyness and humility. In conversation she spoke very little, preferring to listen and her listening was done more from her heart than from her ears. Despite her retiring manner, there was no doubt for those who knew her, that she was also a lady with a brilliant mind, a remarkable sense of humour and keen intuition. She had a sort of sixth sense about things, that meant she always knew when something was wrong, or if one of her loved ones was troubled.
Granny had a very large number of grandchildren and great-grandchildren, but in any given month, if you were to ask her, she could list off from her head, who had birthdays and on what day. In some months there could be as many as a dozen or more birthdays. Most of us need written lists for such things.
She endured many sorrows and hardships during her lifetime, but somehow she seemed to use them to grow stronger. She lost her own Mom when she was very young, around age 5 and was adopted by another family. Although her adoptive family was good to her, the sorrow of loosing her Mom was something that remained in her secret soul her entire life. As a young mother and housewife she lost a tiny son, at the tender age of two, to pneumonia. Later in life she lost an adult son to a car accident and her beloved husband to cancer. It is a comfort to me to know that she is now with them all again.
Granny suffered terribly at the end of her life, but even through her suffering, her loving and caring for all her family shone through. Her love was genuine and unconditional. Her Faith was a real and strong part of her life. At the public viewing where we all said our goodbyes, her much used Bible was put on display for all to see. What a story of love and faith that Bible tells. It is so old, worn and well-used that its binding is coming apart and its pages are yellowed. Throughout its pages are the many little notes and thoughts she'd written; some of them seeming to have been written there to comfort her family oneday. Her Bible is a clear testimony....not only of her love of God, but of her love for all those around her. She could have had a new one at any time, but for her that Bible was a faithful old friend and she did not want a new one.
For the first six years of my life I lived in a house right across the street from my Granny and Gramps. Every single day I would cross the street and go to Granny's house. There I would sit at her table and carry on the important conversations of a child. While we talked she always had some homebaked treat for me to eat. She never tired of my visits. In fact her face seemed to light up when I walked in the door. Eventually my family moved to another place, too far away to visit her very often and I missed her terribly. We were always able to visit her at Christmas though, and so from then on one of the best parts of Christmas was getting to visit Granny. As I got older I was able to visit her on my own by taking the bus and many a weekend trip was made by bus to Granny's house.
Once I was grown and had children of my own, they became part of the "Christmas Visit To Granny's" tradition and she always awaited my kids with little bags of Christmas candies. Christmas will forever have an empty space in it now that no one else can fill.
After her passing I felt privileged to receive a few of her things to remember her by. Among them is a watercolour painting that I painted for my Granny many years ago at Christmas 1964. I was all of eight years old. The drawing is of the Nativity scene, which I knew she'd love and is painted on a piece of cardboard from one of my Dad's new shirts. She kept that painting with her for thirty-four years. I had no idea that it would mean so much to her.
As I grow older I find myself being more and more like my Granny. In quiet moments Granny would often sit and rock, all the while twiddling her thumbs round and round. It is often that I catch myself doing the same in recent years and just as she did I find that I worry about my loved ones. I hope that if need be I will have the same courage, fortitude and resilience to handle the trials that life throws my way, as Granny once did.
I visted Granny in the hospital, just before she left us. I had been sick with first a flu, then a cold, over the weeks before she took ill, so I hadn't visited her for a while. I didn't want to chance making her sick. When I walked into the hospital room my heart clenched at what I saw. She looked so tiny, so frail. There were tubes going every which way. I placed my hand on her soft forehead and she opened her eyes. She smiled weakly and tried to speak. Her voice was too low for me to hear and she must have realized I didn't hear her for she tried again. This time I understood her. She said, I missed you. I never got a chance to answer her as she quickly drifted back to sleep. She left us before I was able to see her again.
Granny, if I could talk to you now this is what I'd tell you :
I know you are watching over me, twiddling your thumbs as you always did, until we meet again, and I missed you too !!
Copyright © June 22, 1998,
Charmaine V.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
To tell you a wee bit more about my Granny I have typed below a copy of the eulogy delivered at her funeral. It was written and delivered by my cousins, twins, Lisa and Leah Clyburn. They summed it all up so well....no one could have said it better. Needless to say there was not a dry eye in the church during their speech.
On the sixth of May, 1998, God called one of his angels home. We come
before you today to celebrate the life of an angel who walked amoung
us. She was Mom to many, Granny to most, and Nanny to us. There are no words
nor praise that can do justice to this loving, irreplacable, perfect person.
But at a time like this we need to do what Nanny would do, and that is to see
the good in anything that is bad.
There is something happening today that would make Nanny so proud and so
happy. She was the pillar of this entire family and loved nothing more than
to see us all together. We would like to ask that everyone take the hand of
the person next to you. We must take care of ourselves and each other.
Nanny is looking down at us now. She is sitting in God's hands and twiddling
her thumbs saying, "Oh, I wish they would stop fussing over me. they have to
get on with their lives." And that, as difficult as it may be, is what we
must do.
And what Nanny would want most is for us to take comfort from the belief that she is doing just fine. There is no more pain. She has waited nearly twenty
years to be with her beloved Rex and now they walk hand in hand with Jesus.
We must give thanks and be grateful that God gave us one of His beautiful
angels for 82 glorious years. We are a family so privileged to have known an
angel on earth. She has influenced our lives in so many, countless,
remarkable ways and these are memories that will stay with us forever.
We also can take comfort in the fact that the legacy of Nanny lives on in
each one of her children:
In Doug we see Nanny's bright eyes but quiet reserved manner.
Baby Gordon was here for but a brief time, but now he is embracing Nanny,
together with Bert, Bob and Papa.
Then there is Sylvia or "Syb" who is simply a younger version of Nanny.
And we will never forget Bob's warm, gentle and sweet manner.
Wayne or "Winkie", carries on her incessant worrying and concern always for
other people.
In Ron lives her ever-present sense of humour, even in the rough times.
In Karen or "Cabbage", we see Nanny's remarkable ability to always, always
put others before herself.
Nancy carries on her strong Faith, big heart and love of children.
And finally, Linda, who resembles Nanny's natural beauty and profound
sweetness.
And oh, how Nanny loved her grandchildren. She loved each one of us equally and completely unconditionally...all 154 of us. And incredibly, never did she
forget a birthday. We feel privileged not only to have known her, but to have
been loved by her. The loved that has been carried through the generations
is represented by the crowd that has gathered here today.
Our angel...a woman with whom people fell instantly in love. And as
granddaughter, Lillian Worthen described, " Granny was someone who always had
a smile on her face; who never complained and was always there for others;
who always managed to make you smile; and who worried about everyone else,
no matter her pain."
Never did she say a bad word about anyone....except for perhaps Brian
Mulroney. And she always knew just what to say, as portrayed by memories
granddaughter, Bette Ann Worthen, has shared with us:
She says, "Special times with Granny for me were just a few little sayings
whenever I was down. She would look at me and say, " Bette, no matter how
bad things seem now, they will always get better with time. Take one day
at a time." Granny always had a way of lighting up a room that made everyone
feel special. so as we leave here today, think of those words that Granny
would say if she were here. Maybe they will make you feel at ease as they
have done for me over the years."
Take strength from the fact that Nanny will always be with us. She will
always be guiding us, crying with us, laughing with us, and smiling with us.
Each and every one of us can take great comfort from the fact that
throughout life, we will each have our very own guardian angel.
It's not "Good-bye", our Kindred Spirit, but "See you later."
(It was at this point that all those of us present, still holding hands,
all recited together the little bedtime prayer that Granny taught to all
of us)
I pray Thee Lord my soul to keep.
If I die before I wake,
I pray Thee Lord my soul to take."
This page created by
Charmaine V.
June 22, 1998
All graphics & text on this page
copyright © June 22, 1998.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED